MY GOD! 25 Signs of a Cheating Husband You Don't Know (Yet) (2023)

What's in this article

  • What is considered cheating?
  • Why do men cheat?
  • 25 Signs of Cheating You Don't Know (Yet!)
  • Next steps: what to do if your husband is cheating on you
  • final thoughts

Monogamy is often the norm in many relationships and is widely known as the belief that one should remain faithful and romantic with someone else and no one else.

Although some cultures have moved away from traditional relationship dynamics, monogamous relationships are still largely the norm.

This can make it easier to set clear boundaries and understand how to be loyal to your partner without cheating.

Boundaries are very important for establishing trust and respect within any partnership.

Being able to discuss how you can feel valued and comfortable can make your marriage or relationship last much longer and be happier in the long run.

Discussing boundaries openly can also be important when it comes to building trust.

MY GOD! 25 Signs of a Cheating Husband You Don't Know (Yet) (1)

Depending on your situation, there are many reasons why someone might be cheating. It can be more of a cry for help or a sign of desperation in some cases, while others can have more narcissistic traits.

Whatever your reasoning, it doesn't eliminate the feeling of self-doubt and shame that can come with having a cheating husband. It's important to avoid blaming yourself and try to consider all possible outcomes of your actions.

Cheating can be defined as acts of infidelity that were committed with another person without their consent. However, the definition may vary depending on what you would classify as intimate in your relationship.

That's why it can be difficult to tell when your husband is cheating on you and find the right amount of evidence.

This guide has some of the most common signs that he might be cheating on you and some advice on what your next steps should be.

What is considered cheating?

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While the traditional definition of cheating is considered to be sleeping with someone else, there are other ways someone can cheat. It really depends on what you would classify as intimate behavior and what you would personally classify as cheating.

Something that is key when defining deception is the role of consent. Of course, some relationships may enjoy less monogamous labels on their relationship, so infidelity is often difficult to define.

When someone wants to explore your desires outside of your relationship and acts without discussing with you or seeking your consent, this is classified as cheating.

The most commondefinition of betrayalIt is an act involving a third party that violates the boundaries of a relationship and causes tensions that can lead to a lack of trust between partners.

However, as we move into the modern era, many more people are questioning things that wouldn't have been heard in the past. For example, some may consider liking or commenting on another girl's posts on social media to be a violation of their privacy and a threat to the boundaries of their relationship.

Others question their husband's loyalty when they have many friends of the opposite sex, or even when they spend more time away from home.

It's definitely worth talking to your partner about what you think your boundaries are and whether you feel they've violated them in some way in the past. Try to be open about how much trust you have and how you can build it so that you can work together as best you can.

It's also worth asking your partner about setting some boundaries and what they would classify as cheating. Generally, if someone asks if a certain behavior or thing counts as cheating, it usually does. It's more about the feeling that your partner took advantage of your trust than the act itself.

Why do men cheat?

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While it's not always men who cheat, most cases tend to happen when a male partner in a relationship is intimate in some way with someone else. Today, men tend to be more open and find it easier to express how they feel in a relationship.

However, for someone who struggles to understand their feelings, it can be difficult to communicate this. This is why cheating can often be seen as a cry for help. Some of the most commonReasons why someone might cheatwere discussed below.

(Video) How A Spouse Feels After Cheating On You

They are looking for a way out of their relationship.

Your partner may be trying to show that he is dissatisfied with his current relationship or that he no longer wants to be intimate with you.

In a way, cheating is a way to avoid facing the problem or having a difficult conversation about the end of the marriage or relationship. This doesn't make things any easier in the long run, as it often makes the need for a difficult conversation even more pressing.

They are looking for a connection elsewhere

This can occur in a variety of ways, and many adults experience some level of identity questioning when they have been married or in a stable relationship for many years. Another factor that can lead to betrayal is the search for an emotional connection with another person.

Studies have shown that men tend to have less effective social support networks, which may be why they allow themselves to be intimate with a co-worker.

have narcissistic traits

He is usually someone who has very little regard for the consequences of his actions or his partner's feelings. While this personality trait is usually noticeable during the first few months of dating, it can emerge after several years of marriage.

This can occur when someone has gone through life changing events that may have altered their way of thinking.

for revenge

This is especially true for someone who is not as in touch with their emotions or feelings because they may not understand certain impulses or how to communicate effectively.

Again, to avoid a difficult conversation about how they didn't like what you did or said, they might cheat as an awkward form of communication.

Struggling with abuse or mental health

This is a more common reason for impulsive behavior than you might think. If your partner has a history of substance abuse or heavy drinking, you may feel like you have less control over your actions than others do.

If your partner spent time in the military, they may be having a hard time processing their emotions due to a traumatic event. Seeking advice can usually help resolve this, however it can be another reason to cheat if left over time.

Substance abuse can create a person who is more impulsive and less likely to think about the consequences of their actions, which can also lead to cheating.

seeking validation

Again, your husband or partner may be trying to get your attention in a weird way by cheating on you. This is often the case if they've shown little effort to hide it, as they may subconsciously want you to find out so you can have the inevitable conversation about it.

Self-esteem and feeling attracted to your partner can be something that many men struggle with. They might look elsewhere for validation or start cheating to boost their self-confidence.

25 Signs of Cheating You Don't Know (Yet!)

MY GOD! 25 Signs of a Cheating Husband You Don't Know (Yet) (4)

If you suspect something bigger is going on and want to know what to look out for, we've got you covered. While every relationship is different, try to find somesubtle changesin their behavior and whether they seem more reserved or even private over time.

1. Intimacy is gone

This can be the most challenging part of the process and it takes a while to realize that your relationship may have changed. The most obvious form of intimacy is sex, but others include the ability to have deeper conversations and physical intimacy such as snuggling or even holding hands.

If your husband has less or no interest in some of the things you used to do together, it could be a sign that something else is going on.

Read more: 21 Signs Your Man Isn't Sexually Satisfied

2. It protects your phone

This may seem like an obvious factor, but many men won't be as subtle about cheating as you might think. If you've noticed that your husband or partner has suddenly become more protective of their phone, it could be an indication that they have something to hide.

Of course, many people protect their phones because it's expensive technology that can do a lot of things. However, it could be a sign that there is something wrong in your relationship if your partner is trying to stop you from checking your phone more defensively.

3. Take your phone anywhere

This is another sign that he might be hiding something, and if you find that he doesn't want to eat, shower, or use the bathroom, it could mean that something is wrong.

This is usually the case with someone who messages multiple people or doesn't want you to find something on their phone. Not only does this reduce some of the trust in your relationship, but it can even make you doubt yourself and wonder what you did wrong.

4. He starts talking frequently about a new person he met.

While it could be a completely innocent new friendship that your husband might have made, it can easily turn into something more sinister and evolve into a deeper emotional connection with someone other than you.

Try to watch for red flags and keep your eyes peeled for any signs of change.

5. Blames/accuses you of cheating

Reverse psychology can be something done by couples who tend to get jealous easily. It is seen as an unusual defense mechanism and is often seen in men who are overprotective of their partners.

Deeper fears of abandonment and attachment issues are often the cause of this, and these people see cheating as a way to take control of the situation.

(Video) 10 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Love You (Even If You Think They Do)

6. He often buys you gifts

Unless your husband is someone who likes to give you lots of gifts on a regular basis, this could be a sign that he is cheating on you because he is trying to divert their attention.

Another reason someone who is having an affair might buy you lots of gifts is as a way to make up for any guilt they may be feeling.

Read more: 13 types of cases

7. He's taking care of himself

Having a new reason to look good naked can make your husband want to work on his body and exercise more.

If you suddenly notice how many calories you're eating or spend long periods of time exercising, it could be a sign that you're cheating.

8. Direct conversations

Some men aren't very good with words, but most husbands strike up conversations later in the day with their partners. Being less open and verbal is a sign that you're hiding something and don't want to risk accidentally blurting it out.

This can result in stiffer one-word answers.

9. Text someone else but not say who

This is a similar sign as they spend a lot of time on their phones and are more protective of it, but if you see your partner texting on their phones or even smiling at your messages, it could mean that someone else is on the way. close.

Try asking him who he's been texting and if he doesn't give you a straight answer, there's a chance he's having an affair.

Read more: Is texting someone else while in a relationship considered cheating?

10. Spend a lot more money

Many couples tend to use joint bank accounts, making it easier to pay bills on time and save for the holidays. However, if your husband uses his savings more often without warning, or if he uses his personal account more often, it could be a sign that he is having an affair.

Try to see if you can show him where you're spending the money if you're ready for a confrontation or an apology.

11. Picks fights/gets agitated easily

Your husband may have started seeing someone else, which will have the glow of a new relationship. This can make you more likely to break up your relationship and start petty fights over little things.

12. Your routine has changed

Whether it's getting more exercise or spending more time outside making excuses for where you've been, a change in your husband's usual routine could be a sign that he's having an affair.

13. Interested in different things/hobbies

If you've found a new partner or are seeing someone else, chances are your husband has new interests or hobbies that you both share.

This can be one of the most frustrating things about the process, because you might suddenly discover that your husband is interested in opera or Indian food when you've spent years trying to encourage him.

14. It's insecure

This may seem like a contrast to what was said above about changing your attitude, but depending on your husband's personality, he may be more insecure about appearance or success.

A new relationship or affair can be exciting because it is risky and new but lacks the security and consistency of a marriage. If your husband starts to act a little strange or doubt himself, it could be a sign that he is trying to make himself more desirable to someone else.

Read more: 21 signs a married man is in love with another woman

15. Their friends' attitudes towards you have changed.

If your husband has told his circle of friends about your affair, then blame may come in the form of being overly nice on their part.

It could be a sign that there is something going on that they know about and that you should try to find out.

16. Shows your dislike for other people more often

This is a common way to compensate, and your husband may suddenly feel the urge to tell you how unattractive certain people are.

They may openly have an opinion about someone else's appearance or personality and be very vocal about telling you. He could be trying to make you feel more secure or trying to cover up his own setbacks.

17. Less and less reliable

If you notice your husband becoming less reliable, it could be a sign that you are no longer his priority. It's one of the biggest red flags and it shows a lack of interest in your relationship.

This may be accompanied by a lack of clear communication and you may be less predictable or open about when to expect him to come back at the end of the day.

18. Lying about little things

Your husband may be trying to deflect blame or make his lies seem smaller than they really are by integrating smaller lies into his conversations.

(Video) Signs Your Marriage Is Over And Not Worth Fighting For | Signs You Need To Get Out NOW!

It could be a sign that you are covering something up and not being as open as you used to be.

19. I like a specific person's social media posts

This in and of itself might not be a red flag, but if your husband likes or even comments on everything a specific person posts, it could be a sign that he likes you a little more than he likes a female friend.

As a way of gaining validation, many men go out of their way to show the person they are having an affair with excessive levels of attention and praise.

20. He tries to get you to stop doing things he considers

Seeing that you still care about him when he's having an affair can make your husband feel more guilty about his actions.

If you try to do something nice for him and get an unusual response, it could be a sign that he's hiding something he feels guilty about.

21. He stops talking to you

This can be a way to remove a level of guilt and prevent lies from creeping in. It's also a sign that your husband may have found someone else to have the meaningful, intimate conversations he once had.

22. He starts talking to you about your "friend's" cheating habits.

It's amazing how many men will try to imagine what would happen to a cheater for their partners to see what their reaction would be. For example, they mention how their friend leftonline for a site that allows married people to have affairsand stayed with some women.

Of course, not all hypothetical cheating habits are real, but try to stay alert and listen for something that sounds very close to home. He might be trying to see how you would react to a cheater in this situation.

23. Spend more time at work

While this is most commonly used as a cover for seeing someone, other people spend more time at the office to avoid the guilt they feel when they return home at the end of the day.

You may be trying to keep yourself busy to avoid spending time with your spouse.

24. He lights you up

This is the phrase given to someone who makes you sound crazy or unreasonable, when in fact they are the one who is way out of line. It's a commonly recognized technique known as deviance, and it can be a way of justifying your own behaviors.

People who have tried to confront their husbands about their affairs have found them accusing them of jealousy and not trusting them.

Read more: Is your husband turning everything against you?

25. Appearance/wardrobe changed

Your husband may be trying to impress someone else with a new look, or even feel like a different person by changing his appearance. There is a possibility that you are going through some kind of personal crisis, or even feelings of guilt for trying to get rid of the warning with new clothes.

He may be styling or dressing differently to match his new persona that he may have adopted. Another reason why a new look could be a sign of cheating is if you put more effort into your appearance and then say you're only going to see friends or work. He might be trying to impress someone else.

Next steps: what to do if your husband is cheating on you

MY GOD! 25 Signs of a Cheating Husband You Don't Know (Yet) (5)

Of course, the first step isface them for cheatingand try to get to the root of their behavior patterns. If you are going through a difficult time such as realizing your sexuality or having PTSD.

Depending on how long you've been together and what you feel is right, it's important to be clear about yournext stepsand make a plan for how you want to move forward.

Give yourself time to process the situation and heal.

Try to avoid acting angry and let the dust settle a bit before making more drastic changes. If you have children, it's worth taking the time to carefully consider your options before taking action.

Time helps heal many things and can allow you to gain a clearer perspective and decide where your priorities lie.

Talk to your partner and understand why

Ask all the necessary questions and try to understand what happened. If you are willing to put the work back into your marriage, then talking about why this happened can allow both of you to heal and move on.

Try to avoid interrupting them during this conversation and ask how it went, being as open and honest as possible.

While the most common form of response is aggression and often violence, this will not help you understand how this happened and what drew your partner to the affair.

If you want to work on your marriage and regain trust, it's worth sitting down with them and talking openly about everything that happened.

Surround yourself with family and friends

Something that helps many people who are going through difficult times is remembering the love they have in their lives. This could be spending time with family or friends and trying to distract yourself. It can be a great way to gain some perspective and allow you to make the best decision.

Also, you can tell some of your closest friends what happened and ask them what they should do.

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Read more: 11 Signs He's Cheating Again

Seek professional help

If you decide to work on the relationship, consider going to counseling or therapy to heal and rebuild the trust you once had. This will give way to intimacy over time, as well as better communication skills.

Many couples or marriages see their fair share of conflict, and some choose to work in partnership to protect their children.

avoid blaming yourself

It can be easy to wonder what you did wrong and how you got your partner into the affair. This should not be your position because it can lead to lowered self-esteem and increase the lack of trust that already exists between you and your husband.

You are not responsible for your choices, and remaining faithful and loyal is not a flaw.

Depending on the situation and the type of relationship or marriage you have, seeing that your partner is cheating on you could be a sign that he is going through some kind of crisis.

Try to show that you are there for them and that there are options to get over this if they want to save their marriage or relationship.

Read more: A Survival Guide to Staying With Someone Who Cheated

final thoughts

MY GOD! 25 Signs of a Cheating Husband You Don't Know (Yet) (6)

One thing that's important to keep in mind is that there are many reasons why someone might be having an affair, and none of them are your personal fault. Try to stay true to yourself and seek as much support as possible from your friends and family during difficult times.

Figuring out how their marriage went wrong and what made them think they should have an affair is essential to rebuilding their relationship and gaining the trust they once had.

Some of the signs of a cheating husband are spending more money, becoming less reliable, and changing your routine. If he's going through some level of change, it could be a sign that his priorities are too.

However, some of these signs alone are not necessarily signs of infidelity, and it's worth asking a close friend for advice before confronting him. It is important that you know your worth and be able to have an objective point of view when determining if he is having an affair.

Of course, some of the signs can come in different forms. This includes how open and communicative your husband is on a regular basis, compared to how her behavior may have changed lately.

Try using your previous forms as a baseline and compare based on that and not other factors.

Cheating is a broad term and can refer to the act of having an affair with someone or a more passionate relationship. Some people find it more difficult to deal with a husband who has found an emotional connection and a new level of intimacy with someone else, while others can be extremely upset to discover that their marriage lacks the passion it once did.

Of course, neither option is better, and it's worth pointing out how there can be different forms of infidelity to consider. This can help you to identify signals that may differ between different connection forms.

Depending on where you are and what you want to do, there are a few options for your wedding. If the two of you are still in love with each other, or want to make it work for your kids, then you might want to consider counseling.

This can help you set clear boundaries and have the right conversations about what you need at any given time.

MY GOD! 25 Signs of a Cheating Husband You Don't Know (Yet) (7)

Lauren Cook McKay

Lauren Cook-McKay is Vice President of Marketing for She has a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) from the University of San Diego and applies her training in private practice to helping couples who are struggling in their marriage. She believes there is hope in all marriages and strives to offer couples therapy that will lead them back to a loving marriage or an amicable divorce that will bring peace and closure.

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